Grace

To My "LIL" Gracie Flo

Grace, I can not even describe how much you are truly loved. Your unique personality has a way of letting others just love you to pieces. I am so thankful that God has given me the privilege to be your mother. I am dedicating this blog to you today because I want you to know how much you mean to me and to your family, both immediate and extended. There are people praying for you all over. There are so many people who love you and love being around you. Grace, you deserve so much more than a blog for being so brave these past few days. You have been poked, jabbed and bugged so much lately by nurses and Dr.'s. I want you to know that even though at this point you are frustrated and in pain they are only trying to make you better.

I cannot wait to take you home; I cannot wait until you are back to your independent, ornery, busy, funny, and happy self.
Grace, along with my salvation, your daddy, your sister, and your teeny tiny little brother who has not arrived yet, YOU are the BEST thing that has ever happened to me, and I do not know where I would be today without any of you.
I just love you so much and I want you to feel better. I do not like seeing you lay there so lifeless, and in pain. As I sit and watch you, I cry because I just want to remove all of your pain from you and rescue you. It is frustrating that I cannot rescue you right now, but I know in my heart that I am not the one in control. God is control and you are His child. I just have to be patient and wait on Him to do the rescuing.

It is day three in the hospital and today you decided that you wanted to eat pudding with whip cream all by yourself. When you looked up at me with your big blue eyes and those long beautiful eyelashes, and said with your soft little voice, "Mommy, can I do it all by myself?", and gently took the spoon out of my hand I could not help but to cry. I felt so much joy, I knew at that point God was answering all of our prayers. You are on your way to feeling better.
Thank you Jesus.
These past couple of days here with you has taught me a valuable lesson about how precious life is and the time I have to spend with you. Time goes so fast and I treasure every moment I have with you, your sister, your daddy, and even the moments that await me that I will have to share with your little brother.

Grace you are such a blessing, you make me laugh at stuff all of the time and like I said before you have such an unique personality. I love you so much.


No matter how many ways I describe to you how much I love you and no matter how many times I say it, there is no love like the love that your daddy has for you. You are his precious baby girl. He loves you so much and he wants to protect you from anything that does not make you feel good. Your daddy has prayed for you so much this week and cried when he saw you in so much pain. He would move the world for you if he could. He would do anything to make you feel better.


Your third birthday is coming up in just two short weeks. I can not believe that you are three years old already. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was holding you in the hospital while your little 8.8 lbs was all wrapped up into a tiny bundle. I will never forget that day because it was the very first time I got to meet you. Did I mention how much I love you?
We can not wait to celebrate your third birthday with you.


We as a family have SO MUCH to be thankful for. We are moving into our first real home and before long your little brother will be here for you to help us take care of. God has blessed us in so many ways, and even though you are not feeling to good right now I know you will feel better soon.

Mommy wants to make you your own special blog for your birthday, but in case life throws more curve balls and we get really busy I want to make a little something for you now.















Happy Birthday Grace.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Morgan's Birthday

MORGAN, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU:

To my little girl who is growing so fast,
I want these younger years to stay this way, I want them to last.
I remember your first steps and your first day of school,
At first you felt like a big girl, you looked so cool.
You cried that as you waved goodbye,
But you were not the only one, so did I.
I remember your first solo in your pee-wee patch play,
I remember crying, and being so proud that day.
I feel honored, and blessed to have you in my life,
One day you will be a mother, one day you will be a wife.
When that day comes I will be happy and sad,
Because I will want these younger years back so bad.
I hope in the mean time I will train you to hold your head up high,
Have faith in God, He won't hang you out to dry.
You are beautiful and smart in His eyes and mine,
So I know in this life you will do just fine.
I will always be there holding your hand,
And walking you through what God has planned.
I love you so much, more than you can ever know,
I am glad God gave me you and is letting me watch you grow.
So, to my little girl who is growing so fast,
Slow down, I want these memories to last.

Love, mommy xoxoxoxoxo



Morgan is my oldest baby who is turning 11 on the 20th.
I am thankful that God brought her into my life. God is so good.

To a Freind that is Truely Missed and Forever Remembered.

This story is dedicated to my friend Mary Catherine Burke who I love and miss so much.

This March 19nth will be the first anniversary of Mary's death. She passed away just two days before her 29nth birthday.



She has been heavy on heart, and I wanted to share with you my story and dedication to her.

I still remember the day that Mary and I met. I believe it was at the Ligonier Bowling Alley in 1994. I was the new girl in town, and she welcomed me with open arms so to speak. She introduced herself to me, we exchanged phone numbers, and she invited me join her with a few friends to a place called Illusions.
I remember that night being a start of a new beginning for a new friendship. I was so nervous that night , I was afraid that I would not fit in. (Mary made it easy for me to fit in. ) We were friends from there on out.

All through high school I think she was the closest friend that I had, she loved me know matter my what faults were.

That is part of who she was though.

She loved life, and everyone. She was always hugging her close friends with one arm around their neck, and making some funny joke about someone or something. She was so funny sometimes. Mary used to walk quickly into her friends in the hallway in between classes (kind of like walking you into the lockers) LOL

Most of my memories are of Mary smiling and laughing. Sometimes I can here the sound of her laugh in my head, and it just brings tears to my eyes. Mary taught me how to put my make up on, and no matter how hard she tried, she just could not teach me how to dance. I can not even imagine what she was thinking, when she saw me try. (that is too funny)

Mary used I to be so close that at one time she used to call my mom "mom", and my mom would call her "my adopted daughter". She was like a sister to me.

I miss Mary so much, and I think of her daily. I could type soooooo many memories that I have of her, but there is so much that it would be impossible for me to type. However, there are a couple of memories I would like to share.

I remember when she would take her pointer finger and middle finger up to her eye, and pull out the outside of the corner of the eye when she was trying to read something. I wonder if she continued doing that as an adult?

I remember when we would sit for hours and play "Skip Bo" and I remember that she always made her homemade sweet tea. YUM!!!

Mary was the type of person who loved everyone, but would not be any one's door mat either. She was not afraid to speak her peace, and if anyone messed with her brother Marty, then they were messing with her too.

I remember Mary and Marty were so close, I can't explain it, but they were like best friends. Mary was close with her other brother and sister, but Mary and Marty were the closest. (At least I know they were at one time.)

Mary and I hung out after high school a lot at first, (couple of years) that is what the majority of my memories of her are. Memories of her make me literally laugh out loud sometimes.

There are so many places I drive by and a memory of Mary just pops into my head. There are songs on the radio that will trigger my memories of her and what we were doing during at that particular time. It is amazing the things you can forget until something triggers an old memory.

I remember the day that she came up to me and said "I am moving to South Carolina" I was like
(WHAT!!!) That was a hard gulp to swallow. She said "come with me"
I was like (WHAT!!!!)again.

At the time my Morgan was 3 years old , and I just could not take her and go. I told Mary that I can't, and she said "you and Morgan can live with me",
I said "I just can't". She said "well ...then at least come out with me for a little while tonight".

(Here come my tears)...... (sigh)..... Lets just say that I wish I did.

Sometimes I think to myself that if I would have went out with her that night, then I would have another memory to think of that I do not have now.

That was the last time I saw Mary. She moved to South Carolina, and that was the last we seen or spoke to each other. Not because we did not want to, but because we just had our own busy lives to live. I wish I would have made more of an effort over the years while she was still alive, in fact that is one of my biggest regrets. I wish I at least made a phone call or something.

To be completely honest, I am really mad at myself deep down for that. Another regret I have is the fact that I do not have any pictures to go with the memories. I destroyed all of my grade school, and high school pictures when I was in my early twenties because of a phase that I went through. I only saved one graduation picture of myself with my mom. WHY!!!!!

Why did I do that????

I wish I had all of those pictures back, but I will never have the chance to go back and look at those pictures, or any pictures of Mary and I together again. Her mom gave me this picture that I have posted a few months after her funeral. This is the ONLY picture I have of her, and as much as I will always treasure this picture, this is not the Mary that I have so many memories of. This picture was taken while she was living in South Carolina (within the years that we haven't seen or spoken to each other).

My memories of Mary are in my heart and my mind now. I learned a valuable lesson.

No matter where I go I try take a picture. It might sound weired but I learned the hard way that you shouldn't throw out good memories. I can NOT believe that I threw all of those pictures out!!!!!

When I first heard of Mary's death, I was shocked. It did not quite hit me at first.
I was like WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

There are a couple of different stories going around about her death, but honestly no matter what the story actually is, NO ONE knows what really happened unless they were there with her in her last breaths. I believe that someone took her life.

I know that there are other people who believe something else, then

SO BE IT. It really does not matter to me because I know what I believe, and will continue to believe.

Her death hit me hard at the funeral. When her mom and I made eye contact, I just could not hold back the tears any longer. I will never forget that moment when Mary's mom and I hugged.
(My tears are pooring down just thinking about it.)

She whispered "Heather" into my ear. At that point I can honestly say that my heart was broken. " I told her how sorry I was for her loss".
I feel so much for her mom, I went to see her a couple of times and we talk over the phone once in a while. She seems to being doing ok. The best that she can be at this point. Her life will NEVER be the same without Mary. Her heart will never be complete. I can't even imagination her pain and her loss.

I know that I would be devastated if my girls would pass away before me.
However, no one could really know that type of pain unless they have experienced it.

My heart is sad, I wish I could see her just one more time. See her smile, and hear her laugh.
If I could I would give her a hug, and tell her how sorry I was for not making more of an effort, and how sorry I am for not going out with her that night.

I ask those of you who read this to please keep her family in your thoughts and prays this month.
This is a hard time for them. My heart aches for them. I will be praying that they seek God for strength.

Mary would have turned 30 this year. ("Mary I love you and Miss you")

Please keep in mind, and be thankful when you turn another year older. It is not about getting old, it is about the fact that you had the opportunity to share another full year with the people you love. (Building Memories)

Oh, and take lots and lots of pictures because you never know when your OR your loved one's last breath will be.

Thank you for taking the time to read my dedication of Mary's memory.

"There is nothing sweeter than a child who talks with God."

I can't even describe the feeling I get when I see my children talk to God. Although little Grace may not quite understand the concept of God's love for her, I adore how she continues to express such seriousness in her words. I feel confident that she understands a little, and it melts my heart when I hear her say "Dear Jesus", or "Amen".
She is theeeee sweetest.




Morgan has just been growing so much, I am so proud of her. She worries for others and prays for others continually, she is not selfish in that area at all. Her burden for the extended family (on my side of the family) to have a relationship with the Lord is touching. I hope and pray that she never looses that love and burden for others.

I was inspired by my sister in law, and my niece to start my own Blog.
I love reading what is going on in their lives, and how God continually blesses them.
I think this will give me an opportunity to share my thoughts and concerns with my friends and family.

When you were young, did you ever think about what you wanted to be when you were older? Please take a moment to remember, as I share with you what I thought I was going to be.

I remember thinking that I wanted to be a singer. Ya Right!!!! LOL Anyone who knows me, knows that I can NOT sing for anything. ( A note? What is a note?) That is too funny.
I remember thinking that I wanted to be a cop. Me a cop, how scary is that??? I remember at one point I was sure I was going to open up my own Day Care Center. I must of thought money was going to fall from the sky or something. I thought that I would never have a happy marriage or have the privilege of being a stay home mom to raise my children.
God has truly blessed me. I can not tell you how much I appreciate the opportunity I have to be home.

I see so many people pass through their busy lives forgetting about who they were, and what God allows them to have. There are people who just waste away their lives. UGGGGG!!!
That kills me.

I am so thankful for every breath, for having another day on this earth to be with my family, for my husband, and for the children that God allows me to borrow (my daughters Morgan and Grace.) After all they are his children. (Sigh)... God is good.

On another note, I want to share something with you...
The other day I was driving to the mall, as I approached the red light, I glanced over at the car next to me. There was a lady driving, and she was all by herself. She kind of looked sad.
I started thinking, " I wonder what her story is?" I wondered, Is she a hero? Is she a wife of a hero? Is she a teacher? Is she a mom? "What is her story?" Then I started asking "what if" questions like " I wonder if she has a husband or a son who fought or is fighting in war? I wonder if she ever lost someone dear to her?" This lady may not be a hero, or related to one, but she is a lady with a story. Who knows what she has experienced in her life time,so I don't think it would hurt anything to pass a smile if she looks over. Needless to say, she did not look over.

I realized that there are people all round us all of the time just passing by with a story about their life. I never thought about that before until recently.

I just recently shared with my husband what I have going on in my heart, and now I'm going to share with you. I have this HUGE burden for our veterans , and their families. Just thinking abut the sacrifice that they have made for our freedom just brings tears to my eyes. For the past couple of years at the fourth of July parades, I found myself swallowing hard to keep myself from crying when our veterans walk by. I never realized until recently how this topic has been so touching to me. My heart aches for the families who have lost loved ones for our freedom, but I am also very grateful. There are so many people who take our freedom for granted.

If there are two things that really bug me, it is RUDE people, and those who treat our veterans disrespectfully. I can not even imagine their experience, and I think they deserve more respect for their sacrifice than anyone who is doing nothing for our country. With out the help of God, and our veterans, our country would not be where it is today. So many people seem to be so focused on the economy instead of focusing on the fact that we are more free as a country than any other country that I know of.
Freedom doesn't come free does it?

I told my husband that I am starting a tradition for our family. Any time we encounter a veteran, or every year on veterans day I am making it a goal for my children and I to shake a veterans hand and THANK them. I think that is the least I can do for their sacrifice.
When I think about our older veterans, I think to myself "What a story that would be".

When I think about the Heather that I used to be, it scares me. Anyone who really knows who I was back then would probably agree with me when I say that, " I have a story of my own" YIKES!!! I had a hard heart for many years, I was afraid to let anything in. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed for God to soften my heart, and mold me. Now I can't even watch a movie without crying, or see someone else cry without crying. LOL Yep, I'm a cry baby.
I am glad to be were I am today. This is a better story for me to share with my grandchildren some day.

My eyes now see the protection that God had over my life (in my past) that I just could not see before. I am so thankful for God's forgiveness and mercy on my soul. I am so thankful to have such a loving husband to grow old with, and two wonderful children to share my life with.

Thanks for taking time to read my Blog. Until next time, and remember...
Everyone has a story, YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE DRIVING NEXT TO. :o)